A letter to my world.

I wasn't the best guy in the world to you. I wasn't giving you what you deserved. I let small things get big, and sometimes I didn't know what to say in the end. But there were always three words that I always wanted to say to you at the end of each and every day.

I love you.

I loved the way you looked at me. I loved the way you made me laugh. I loved the way you fit so perfectly into my arms, that it was as if nothing else in this unforgiving world mattered. I loved how optimistic and passionate you were. I loved everything about you; but there was one problem.

Me.

I didn't treat you as well as you deserved. I made countless mistakes, and I wasn't there for you when you needed me at times. I know I wasn't the best. I know I don't deserve you, and even now, despite everything I've done to change myself for the better, and make sure that I knew I was ready for you, I still get nervous every time I see you; because the river of emotions that ran through my veins when I saw your smile every morning still coarses through me, only now like a poison that I hope doesn't scar my bleeding heart. But there was something you didn't know about me after we broke up that night in January.

I still loved you.

For the next 6 months, I dug. I dug deeper and deeper to right my wrongs, and better myself. I searched for answers to the problems, and used them to face everything head on. It was a battle. A battle that took its toll on me emotionally.

I missed you.

Every night I missed your voice. Every night I wish you would be there to see that the past need not be the present; that I had worked to prove to myself I can deserve someone like you, and that this heart of mine is still capable of loving you. You were an angel to me. You were the girl that I wanted nothing more than to give nothing less than the world to. So the past 6 months, I worked to ensure that I could be the person I wanted to be, and the man that you deserved.

Watching you walk away is the single hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. The emotions ride through me like a roller coaster. My mind is full of the memories of our late nights, with you in my arms, and not a care in the world. My thoughts have your name in them, and they buzz around my head like an angry hornet, taking stabs at a heart that I was once proud to say belonged to you.

I still love you.

I hope that in time our paths might cross again, and that you'll see that I am new, yet still familiar. This broken heart of mine might never heal, but it will always love you, and everything about you.